Rivka, it seems, wanted to begin her marriage with Yitzchak on “equal footing,” avoiding even the impression of superiority.
We read in Parashat Chayei Sara of Rivka’s selection as a wife for Avraham’s son, Yitzchak. The Torah relates that when Rivka arrived from her homeland to Canaan and saw Yitzchak for the first time, “she fell from the camel” (24:64). The commentators address the question of what the Torah means when it speak of Rivka “falling,” and how we are to understand her reaction to seeing her groom for the first time.
RavShimshon Rafael Hirsch explains that the word “va-tipol” (generally translated as, “she fell”) does not necessarily refer to “falling,” and may likely mean “dismounted.” He notes that in Sefer Melakhim II (5:21), the verse describes Na’aman dismounting from his chariot upon seeing the servant of the prophet, using the word“va-yipol.” It is likely, Rav Hirsch writes, that this verb (which normally means “fall”) used in the contextof a rider denotes dismounting, rather than falling. If so, then Rivka did not “fall” from the camel, but simply dismounted upon seeing her groom.
Rav Hirsch adds that this was done as an expression of respect:
In the same way here too we can understand the feeling that Rebecca did not wish to meet Isaac while mounted. A proud lady would certainly have found something in it, to come riding stately to meet him at the head of a troop of followers… Especially as Isaac was not riding but on foot she did not find itseemly for her to ride towards him. Moreover riding seems to have been a sign of quality and Rebecca did notwant to meet Isaac as an aristocratic lady.
In other words, Rivka did not wish to appear “above” Yitzchak, to meet him for the first time as she rode as a noblewoman while hestood as a commoner below her. Rivka, it seems, wanted to begin her marriage with Yitzchak on “equal footing,” avoiding even the impression of superiority. She understood that for the relationship to succeed, there could not be any element of competition or one-upmanship, that she and her husband must not engage in any kind of struggle for authority and stature.
Upon seeing Yitzchak for the first time, Rivka found it necessary to dismount, to approach him humbly as his equal, rather than meet him from a position of height and nobility. Our righteous matriarch thus teaches us to approach our own relationships with thismindset of an equal partnership, rather than as a battleground where we struggle for respect and superiority.